Brooke Ivie
Clapson
She returned home & set to task getting
her life back on track. This included a job flagging on a
road repair crew in Rocky Mountain House, saving money for
the first time in her life & planning a trip to Europe
with her best friend Amanda. I begged her never to see him
again….. I will always remember my words to Brooke,
“Baby next time he will kill you”.
He followed her to Rocky Mountain House
& convinced her once again to let him stay. This manipulation
led to her death at his hands the night of the crew wind up
party. She was fed up with his continued abuse while there
and told him it was over when they returned to Calgary.
With no one there to help keep him from her he convinced her
to return to their room alone with him, where he cornered
her & stabbed her 33 times. The majority of Brookes wounds
were defensive wounds to the head, hands & her back as
she curled up to protect her core from the onslaught of blows.
The wound that killed her pierced her heart through her back.
He was tried & convicted of Second
Degree Murder in her case; he received a life sentence with
eligibility for parole in 10 years. So we wait for the day
he will be released….I can tell you it is an agonizing
way to pass time.
Amanda, Becky & I ended up taking her ashes to Europe
instead. A heartbreaking trip for all of us but we managed
to scatter her from one end of the continent to the other
at some of the most beautiful places in the world.
While this trip gave us a small amount of closure our grief
& suffering continues.
If I may speak for surviving victims let me explain some portion
of the after effects of this type of violent crime, our lives
continue with a significant changes we can not control, such
as memory loss, confusion, lack of concentration skills, magnified
reaction to stressful situations, depression & anger,
just to name a few.
Friends, co-workers, employers & society as whole just
want you back the way you were before your loved one was murdered
& no matter how hard you try you are NEVER going to be
the same. This makes fitting in to social situations &
new jobs an anxiety attack waiting to happen, therefore you
withdraw. Some find relief from prescribed medication however
in my case I was afraid to keep any medications in the house
due to my constant thoughts of suicide. I struggle with that
even today.
Unfortunately the support for us needs
to continue past the “society prescribed” year,
the effects stay with you for the rest of you life, ebbing
& then flowing back in with a hurricane like force, often
paralyzing you with out any warning. Each & every event
in your life such as Christmas, Birthdays, anniversary dates
& family get together can pass without event or put you
into a funk that may last for days. It is unpredictable, swift
& devastating each & every time.
Because of the lack of information & support for victims
people will use your loved ones death or the circumstances
of their death to hurt you & these types of cruelty are
unexpected & as painful as the act of their murder itself.
But we are expected to carry on & be productive……I
can tell you from personal experience its almost impossible!
My 9 year relations ship ended with in a year & a half
of Brooke’s death. He could not cope with the new reality
of our lives & moved out.
As my surviving daughter, Brooke’s
friends & our family struggle to continue with what is
left of our lives finding the people out there that really
care & support you on those “black” days is
much needed and welcomed into our lives every time we reach
out. I am sad to say that these types of people are few &
far between.
Thank you for the opportunity to speak
up.
Donna Eaton
Mother of Brooke Clapson
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